Sometimes, I wonder just why I am here.
I figure some explaining is in order. Let me tell you my story. Gather 'round, friends...
Before I begin, I should explain my family.
I have a step-mother, and a step-father. I'll refer to my bio mother, and my step-father as "Mom" and "Dad", as I grew up with them. I'll refer to my step-mother and bio father as "Momma Lynn" and "Daddy Robb", because this is how I usually refer to them when I tell tales with both sets of parents.
The Day I Lost Family- July 19th, 2008
I am 13. I have been for 4 days now. Since I was a baby, I was told I could do great things. But on July 19th, 2008... My life changed. I've... never talked about it before, but tonight, my dad brought it up. It makes me want to talk. On that day, I lost 2 of my younger siblings. My eldest little brother, and my youngest sister. They.... in a house fire... I was babysitting them. I thought to myself: Will I end up like them someday? Will Mom and Dad have to say "Bye" to me? And I knew they would. I was only a 10-year old, but I knew a lot. I was responsible, kind, and strong. Mom and Dad had to both work, so I usually babysat my 4 other siblings (I was the eldest of 5). I never expected it, but.. According to the reports, I acted better than most adults would have in the same situation. But that didn't matter then. What mattered was that.. They were gone. 5 days after my little sister Morgan's 5th birthday, there was the saddest day of my life. I lost my two siblings. Sure, one was autistic (the brother), but my sister wasn't. She was only a 2-year old. But I'll still miss them.
People say that it was my brother's fault the whole mess happened. I still don't know the true cause. It still troubles me to this day. I'll never forget.
Now you know. If I ever feel upset, or if I'm on DND (Skype) on 7-19, you can understand why.
Escaping Sadness- Bottled Up Emotions, waiting to pop.
I'm usually happy, but then.. I'm bullied, or someone brings up 7-19, or I just feel sad in general. Then... I escape. My mind drifts to my.. "Special Place", where my friends, imaginary or not, await to cheer me up. I RP, all by myself, my mind in the "Special Place". My mind just seems... Stuck in the "Special Place" from time to time. I try to keep my mind in Reality, but sometimes, I just can't. That's why I like being on the Internet. It allows me, in a way, to be... Happy. My friends, be it over Skype, a livestream, or the Wiki Chat... They make me happy when I'm sad. They make me laugh when I'm feeling blue. I know this makes me sound insane.. But it keeps me happy...
In fact, Sasha Ketchum could be me, but she's been through more. I was never experimented on, but we have the same personality.
Things That Have Helped- YouTube, TTS, and Other Stuff.
Youtube: My First TTS find
When I was 10 and 11, I used to play on Mom's iPod Touch. I loved going on YouTube with that thing. About a week after my 11th birthday, I searched up this: "Funny Windows Errors". It, back then, was a new thing to me. I just watched some, and got bored. But, this search, there was a video that caught my eye. "Microsoft Sam Reads Funny Windows Errors" I selected it. By the time, I had finished it, I was rolling with laughter. I looked at who it was by, knowing that the people I watched back then (MunchingOrange, Marriland, and AVGN) didn't make that kind of video. It said... "Thunderbirds101" (Suprising, I know.) I shrugged. "Hmm. This guy's video was kinda funny! I wonder if he's got any others?" I said to myself. Over the course of the next few months, I watched more and more of his videos. His humor, though a bit mature for my age, still made me roll with laughter. And then, the Christmas after my 12th birthday.. After a while of searching for his channel, I found him. I knew what I had to do. I subscribed.
August 30th, 2012: I find the Wiki
On this day, I was going through the previous episodes of Funny Windows Errors, I come across a link on his channel, that leads to a wiki, this wiki. I saw new features, and Wikia had given Wikis a new look. I decided to dust off my old Wikia account. Logging in, I went onto the chat. I find two users- TTSMaster23, who was a ChatMod at the time, and another one, who escapes my memory now. I introduce myself. I ask what the star means, being new to the Chat system and all. He tells me. "I am a Chat Moderator." I left, for a while anyway. I edited my user page, and now, look where I am today.
Youtube & Chat: My First (big) subscriber!
I logged into the chat a second time. More people. I talk for a little while, and then someone else arrives. Thunderbirds101. I was excited. Really excited, in fact. But... that's not the point. That's another story in this blog. But, before he arrived, another one arrived. AT88TV:Reloaded (Who will now be referred to as AT for the rest of the post). I said hi, and we chatted among the others. After Thunderbirds arrived, though, he PM'd me. Here, I still have the thing..
I had a screencap because I posted it to my Facebook Page (Sasha Ketchum)
That is the part of the chat that matters. He subbed to me. I didn't care it wasn't Thunderbirds. It was still awesome. Besides, Thunderbirds liked my first episode of my own TTS series. That was perfect for me. But, later, Thunderbirds did subscribe. And It was one of the best days of my life.
I WROTE ALL THIS.... AND I STILL FEEL FEELS. I MUST DRAW.
Thanks for reading...
Yours feeling feels, remembering the past, and watching stuff,
Call me Ani! (talk) 05:34, November 29, 2012 (UTC)