Microsoft Sam (born February 17, 1973) is the famous text to speech voice included with Windows XP, who is also included in the TTS program Speakonia, and Balabolka, and 2000, but his speech patterns differ from his XP version. Sam is a speech synthesizer provided for use with applications that use the Microsoft Speech API (SAPI), known for appearing in hundreds of YouTube videos in which he sings, read errors and signs, do voice-overs, play games, directs a logo, and do all sorts of similar activities.
Microsoft Sam was actually a normal sentient program back in his early days. He was born in an early beta of Windows 2000 (or NT 5.0), and later he transferred to Speakonia, where he met his friends/siblings/kids, Mike and Mary. After hanging out for a while, Sam and Mary started to date, but the relationship did not last, and they broke up. Sam was so depressed that he accidentally walked in front of a truck carrying ROFLcopter fuel, which damaged his right eye, and infected his speech processor, making him say the infamous "soi". Sam and his friends then decided it was time to move away from Speakonia, and ventured into the real world, and that's where they met Thunderbirds101 and many other Text-to-speech officers. They were warmly welcomed aboard the Interview with a YouTuber by Domingo0022, and their adventures began.
Sam's personality differs from TTS video maker to TTS video maker, but in general, he is known to be very angry and violent, often seriously hurting and sometimes killing others for petty reasons in his rage. Other times, he just does it because he feels like it, such as when he can't read errors/signs/etc. and somebody else temporarily takes over. He will come back and murder this person and take back his place. He shows no remorse for doing this whatsoever, and somehow rarely gets in trouble for it, except in davemadson's series'.
Aside from reading errors and signs, Microsoft Sam has done all sorts of strange wacky things, like watching videos and commenting on them. He has also been known to go on adventures with Microsoft Mike and Mary (sometimes with Anna, and in one series, IVONA Eric).
Because of the vast amount of Microsoft Sam variants, it is impossible to place them all on this page. Instead, please refer to the List of Microsoft Sam's AUs to see the list.
Sam has been to space more than once. In the film "Microsoft Sam's Big Vacation" (Intrepid, 2013), Sam went on a NASA Space Shuttle, which the program for it had ironically ended 2 years prior, to Earth 2 to see a different concept of himself.
He went again in 2021, on a Soyuz rocket. Sam had to use a transgalactic teleporter to return to Earth 1 after that trip ended, since the rocket landed in the ocean.
It is currently unknown on any other trips to Space that Sam has done.
This is Microsoft Sam saying "The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog 1,234,567,890 times."
- I will not allow communist Linux Penguins to take over my capitalist Windows computer.
- No open-source communist Linux Penguins allowed in my capitalist Windows computer.
- I hate open-source communist Linux Penguins and I love capitalist closed-source Windows computers.
- I hate shorts, I would never wear shorts, I hate shorts, I will never wear shorts!
- Hahahahahahahahahah soi soi soi soi rofl rofl rofl rofl! (his laugh line)
- It's my property!
- No Peelz here!
- SOI! (getting crotch kicked)
- RADAR OVERSEER SCOTTY!!! YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU'RE FIRED!!!
- YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU'RE FIRED!!!
- GOD DAMNIT SONOFABITCH PIECE OF SHIT MOTHERFUCKING ASSHOLE FUCK FUCK FUCK!!! (his profanity line)
- GOD DAMNIT SONOFA...<BOOM!> (nkrs200)
- Whatever if this skull thinks about giving me any more trouble. I will give him a copy of Bendyournoodle's Greatest Unshmexy hits volume 69.
- Let's all go out for some frosted chocolate milkshakes... OH MY FUCKING GOD!
- Don't call me Sammy Boy!
- You better shut up, you crazy lady. (Referring to Microsoft Mike.)
- Go yank your cock out your ass you fucking butt mongrel
- Err... hmm... oh god... err.... oh! I know. It was Scotty! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA TRLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL SOI SOI SOI!
- 3 words. Modern Warfare 2. XDDDDDDDDDDDDDD dump!
- Goddammit Scotty! You brainless idiot, you crashed the car!
- My fellow ROFLicans. This has been a really dark day even with this sucky virus.
- Take it easy, Sam. (insert funning/joke) Remain....calm. Uh-oh! Tantrum in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1....
- Take it easy, Sam. (insert funning/joke) Remain....calm. Uh-oh! Tantrum. Starting. Right. Now.... (Channel 92.5 The Film Feature Channel)
- Only...one...(fucking)...thing...to...say... (before the spaz)
- My Roflcopter goes soi soi soi soi soi soi.
- Oh crotch/sphincter/rectum/leprosy/diabetes/esophagus/diarrhea/coccyx/gluteus/maximus/scabies/straps/chokes/shpilkes/tailwagging/fakenews/shix/mumblepie/mockingsings/horrored/bobbypickett/motown/spleen/pancreas/soi/cattish/feezers/strewth/stilton/cesspools/mumps/hypothermia/bankruptcy!
- My WTFtrain goes WTF WTF WTF Chugga Chugga WTF WTF WTF Chugga Chugga WTF WTF WTF Chugga Chugga!
- Go fuck yourselves (To The Devil and She-Devil)
- Not ba dum tss, wah-wah-wah-wah
- I hate chicken fingers!
- Ha, penguins, Fun, Peony penguins!
- More wood! More wood! More wood! (PixelartBuilder583).
- You bit me, now i'm calling the assault person (Royalelijah).
- Holy schnikees Did you see that Mike
- Give, me, my, TACOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOS!!!!!!!!!!!
- Come on now! (Sam Da Vlogger)
- aaaa that's not a scary person
- Not like that, Scotty!
- Wonder wedge! Wonder wedge! ~WONDER WEDGE~!! (JCtn6798)
- Moo. (Started in Toadlover404's videos, I think)
List of Sam's vehicles
- Green 2009 Toyota Prius
- Ford Falcon XD
- GMC Yuckon